The Executive State is a state of relaxed alertness. It is where we have the capacity to notice our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. The belief in this state is “I am safe, I am loved, and I am enough.”
Behaviors of this state include: problem solving, being goal directed, solution oriented, caring, and motivated.
Being in the Executive State is the optimal goal. It provides us with the practical skills we need to manage our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is important for adults to access their Executive State when a child is having big emotions. Children do not develop mature inner speech until around the age of seven. In order to help self-regulate they depend on the adults in their life. How we respond to children’s upset will either harm or help their self-regulatory skills.